3 Things To Consider Before Getting Married

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3 Things To Consider Before Getting Married

"Lets Get Married Quick, The Sooner The Better"

Falling in love is easy. So easy that Syracuse University research found it takes 1/5th of a second to "feel that sense of love". Have you ever made a long lasting good decision that fast and not quit on it? There is some wisdom in not being too eager and allowing time to do some revealing. After all, marriage is not just a title, or like an internship...its more like a career (the best kind) if your partner is a good match. My belief is that if each partner is FOR each other NO MATTER WHAT (Define your beliefs) than things will be great.
 

"Marriage Will Fix My Problems"
 

This is a really common pattern I see in relationships. A person sometimes feels that their future partner will fix and meet all the needs that they lack. This potentially gives off a "needy", "energy draining" and "desperate" vibe to the spouse and others. A pattern I've observed in many people who are co dependant on their spouse for all their needs will shy away from hanging with their friends, not take new chances or new opportunities unless their spouse comes with. 
Married people suffer from emotional "suffocation" by not purusing self fulfilment apart from their relationship according to a study from Northwestern University.  
Being a whole person makes a relationships strong. The opposite, weak. 
 


"We Never Have Fights"

Research from The Journal Of Experimental Social Phycology finds that believing that love is to live in "perfect harmony" makes relationships weaker during times of disagreement - simply because these fights destroy the ideal views and positions of the relationship rather than defining it as something solvable.

Whenever I meet a couple who mention that phrase "we don't fight", I can't help but to think that its still in the beginning stages. 

It's not about not disagreeing and not fighting, its about figuring out how to communicate and work through decisions and beliefs. Marriage will magnify flaws but also magnify strengths. One of the keys to a healthy marriage is being in agreement on a belief system, a strategy that guides your focus toward things that are constructive about the other. 


 

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